Missing Him
by rororogers
Summary: Polly Hunter just plain ol' misses Teaspoon. They all do. Inspired by song She Misses Him.


**Disclaimer: Don't own anything, unfortunately. **

**A/N: Inspired by the song She Misses Him by Tim Rushlow.**

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><p>Polly Hunter found herself sitting in her kitchen drinking a cup of coffee mentally preparing herself for the day ahead. This has become a common occurrence for the lonely woman. She was lonely because the one man that she had ever truly loved couldn't remember her anymore. He couldn't remember anybody. Polly prayed silently that today would be a good day, that Teaspoon would be more lucid today and would actually remember her, if not her the children. The children, that neither one of them gave life to but considered family just the same, were coming to visit today, the same as they did every Saturday. Their grandsons would most likely sit at Teaspoon's feet while Teaspoon told stories that happened over twenty years ago thinking they occurred just yesterday. Polly smiled sadly, she was lonely. She misses him, she misses his laugh, his gentle touch that only those he loved knew, and she misses his strength, his intelligence, his sense of duty and loyalty. She misses him.<p>

Polly sighed as she got up from the kitchen table and walked over to the sink placing her cup in it before turning to the stove and dishing up the tray of food for her husband's breakfast. Placing a smile on her face she picks up the tray and exits heading into the sitting room where Teaspoon is sitting in an old rocking chair staring out the window at the old Pony Express bunkhouse. The window she washes everyday so it's always crystal clear for him. Placing the tray on the end table by the chair, she picks up a napkin and tucks it into his shirt.

"Good morning Sugar Lips. Are you ready for breakfast?" Polly asks in a falsely cheerful voice.

Teaspoon turned his head to look at the fading beauty before him. His eyes focusing on her face, his brows knitting in confusion, he just nodded his head before speaking the words that always broke Polly's heart, "Do I know you?"

Polly sighed softly as she began to help the old broken man eat his breakfast. "I'm Polly sugar lips."

"Polly … Polly," Teaspoon tried the name on his lips a couple of times when finally his eyes lit with recognition, "You're the marshal's daughter ain't ya!"

"Yes Teaspoon that's right." Polly murmured continuing to feed him.

"How is your pa, haven't seen him around much lately?" Teaspoon asked completely unaware of the pain in Polly's eyes.

"Pa died years ago sugar lips."

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know. Do you live here?" Teaspoon asked after she finished feeding him and wiped his mouth.

"Yes."

"Do I live here?" he asked his brows knitting in confusion again.

"Yes, we live here together." Polly said softly placing the things back on the tray to take back into the kitchen.

"We're married ain't we?"

"Yes sugar lips, we've been married for close to sixteen years this time. I'm just going to place this in the kitchen and then I'll be back to cut your hair and give you a shave, the kids are coming over in a little while, you want to look your best." Polly said picking up the tray and carrying it into the kitchen.

Stepping into the kitchen the smile disappeared off of Polly's face as she moved to put the dirty dishes in the sink, she'll wash them when the children get there, that way she doesn't have to leave Teaspoon alone for long. She stood there at the sink for a few more seconds trying to compose herself. This was getting harder every day, she missed her sugar lips, she missed Teaspoon.

Polly straightened her shoulders and took in a deep breath placing the smile back on her face as she walked out of the kitchen to find Teaspoon staring out the window again.

"Them boys been slacking, that bunkhouse is bout to fall down. I'm goin' to have to tan some hides if they don't get busy on their chores." Teaspoon muttered more to himself than Polly.

Polly grimaced realizing that Teaspoon was reliving the days the Express still ran and all the boys were working and living here, not only that but all the boys were still alive.

"The boys should be here soon Teaspoon. You can get them to work on whatever you need them to then. You know they are always happy to help out." Polly said quickly when Teaspoon turned to look at her.

"Cody ain't never happy to help out, that boy is lazier than a dog basking in the sun on a hot front porch." Teaspoon argued back.

"Cody won't be here today Sugar Lips."

"Is he on a run today, don't remember him being on the schedule?" Teaspoon asked confusion evident on his face again.

"No he's not on a run. Teaspoon the Express ended fifteen years ago. Cody is traveling the world in his wild west show." Polly explained hoping Teaspoon would remember something.

"That boy always did have some harebrained scheme planned." Teaspoon said his old laugh falling from his mouth briefly before he turned confused again. "What year is it?"

"1877 the express ended in 1862." Polly said quickly holding her breath. Most days when Teaspoon realized how much time had pass he'd get agitated and angry, today he just looked sad.

"Seems like only yesterday I was sizing them boys up, they were a ragtag group of misfits. You know one of them boys that I hired turned out to be a girl. Don't know how I missed that the first day." Teaspoon chuckled remember the scrawny boy that he had called puny proving just how capable he was of doing the job. "Puny but spry." Teaspoon mumbled lost in memories.

"That would be Louise, though she still prefers to go by Lou, old habits I guess." Polly replied with a real smile for a change, today was one of the good days.

"You know she got married to one of the other riders, Kid. He never did tell the others his name, had to tell me though since I was the one to perform the ceremony. She sure was a purdy bride. I haven't seen Kid in a while maybe he'll stop by today."

Polly smiled sadly at the man she loved with all her heart, "what was his name Teaspoon?" she asked skipping his comment about Kid stopping by, she didn't want to tell him that Kid had been killed in the war between the states all those years ago.

"It was … well now I don't reckon I remember what it was he's just Kid to me and the others." Teaspoon's brow knitted together in confusion once more.

"That's alright Sugar Lips it's not important if you remember the name he was born with you remember the man known as Kid that's all that matters." Polly hurried to assure him.

Teaspoon sat in silence lost in the past for a while longer while Polly combed and trimmed his hair and then gave him a shave. "There you go Sugar lips, you look all dapper now. Those grandsons of ours and the children should be here soon. Do you want anything before they get here?"

"Can you read to me, I seemed to misplaced my glasses and I want to read that new dime novel Cody was reading the other day?" Teaspoon said looking around for his spectacles.

Polly heaved a small sigh and got up to fetch one of Cody's old dime novels he had left on his last visit for occasions such as this. Teaspoon was back living in the past again. Polly found one of the well-worn paper books and sat down in the chair across from Teaspoon who was staring out the window yet again and began to read.

An hour passed when the sounds of a wagon could be heard pulling up in the yard. "Rider Coming!" Teaspoon suddenly called out causing Polly to jump in surprise not having heard the approaching wagon.

"That be the children" she said standing and placing the book on the table beside Teaspoon before smoothing a hand over her hair to open the door to let enter the small family that came ever Saturday to visit with Teaspoon and to do chores around the old homestead that Polly couldn't do herself and Teaspoon was no longer capable of performing.

"Morning Polly!" Lou cried hugging the woman tightly, "How is he doing today?" she whispered in the older woman's ear.

"It's one of his better days Lou." Polly whispered back before letting her go so she could hug the young man coming in behind her. "And how are you doing today Jed?" Polly asked hugging her young grandson.

"I'm alright Grandma, what do you need me to do today?" The young man that looked just like his father with his curly chestnut colored hair and blue eyes asked the woman who claimed him as her grandson despite there being no blood relation.

"Well first I want you to go see you Pawpaw and then there are some chores outside that need taking care of that your brothers can help you with." Polly said before pushing the young man towards the sitting room where Teaspoon was now having an animated conversation with Lou recalling the time when he discovered her secret.

Polly turned to the small ten year old that came in through the door next. "Isaac give me some sugar honey!" Polly said holding her arms wide for the small boy that was an exact replica of Lou.

"Gran!" Isaac called happily launching himself into the woman's arms with a happy cry. They held each other tight before Isaac broke away to scamper after his older brother who he followed after like a little puppy.

Isaac was followed shortly by his twin brother Noah who unlike Isaac looked just like his father, there was no denying whose child he was with his dark eyes and hair and the light copper skin coloring he inherited from his father's Kiowa blood. Unlike Isaac, Noah was a silent child who just quickly hugged his grandma before following after his brothers.

"The other children still picking on him?" Polly asked the man that followed after the children carrying his four year old daughter Emma.

"Yes. Isaac and Jed protect him but they can't stop the words from hurting like they can the punches." Buck said before hugging and kissing Polly's soft cheek.

"He'll be alright Buck; he's got a family that cares about him." Polly assured the young man that had helped heal Lou's broken heart after receiving word of Kid's death.

Lou had discovered she was pregnant a month after Kid had left to fight in the war, she quickly wrote Kid but he had already signed on with the confederate army and could not leave. Buck wrote to Kid and promised that he'd take care of Lou until he returned. When the telegram came informing Lou of Kid's death she was devastated. She was alone and pregnant. Buck kept his promise to Kid and continued to care for Lou, when Jed was three years old Lou surprised Buck by proposing to him. They married a month later and then two years later the twins were born.

"How is Teaspoon today Polly?" Buck asked a few seconds later.

"It's one of his better days." Polly assured him.

Buck smiled before going into the sitting room to find his wife and children listening to one of Teaspoon stories that they all have heard a hundred times if not more.

Lou excused herself and followed Polly into the kitchen. "How are you doing Polly?"

"I'm right as rain Lou, don't you worry about me." Polly said quickly trying to hide just how tired and worn she was feeling.

"You don't have to lie to me Polly. I know how hard this is on you, talk to me." Lou said placing a hand on Polly's shoulder as it started to shake, the tears quickly spilling down her face.

"I miss him Lou! Everyday it's the same thing. I wash that damn window, feed him his meals, comb his hair, shave his face, I even have to wipe his mouth. He can't do anything for himself anymore, at least most days. I miss him; I miss his laughter, his sense of humor. I miss the steel in his voice when he was angry about something that was unjust. I miss him Lou; I want my Sugar Lips back." Polly said breaking down in sobs.

Lou pulled the woman into her arms and held her. "I know Polly. We all miss him. He was a father to me when I needed one; he's the only father Buck has ever known. Jed is the only one that really remembers what he was like before. The twins can kinda remember him. Little Emma just knows him as Pawpaw. And the baby, maybe it will at least have some memory of him even if it's of the man he's become." Lou said placing her hand on her abdomen.

Polly pulled back and looked down at Lou's once flat tummy. She had softened up since having four children, her body no longer as hard as it was in the Express days. She had the soft curves of a woman. "How far along?"

"A couple of months, do you think we should tell Teaspoon?" Lou asked worried how Teaspoon would react to the news.

"Today is one of his good days, now would be the time to tell him." Polly assured the still young woman.

Buck came in the kitchen at the moment with little Emma attached to his leg. "I sent the boys out to get started on some chores Polly. Teaspoon mention that the bunkhouse needed work so I got Jed started on that while the twins muck out the barn."

"Thank you Buck. Here let me take Emma while you two go tell Teaspoon your news." Polly said picking up the cubby little girl with her mother's large eyes but her father's calm demeanor.

Buck placed his arm around Lou's waist as they walked back into the sitting room to find Teaspoon watching Jed work on the bunkhouse from the window. "That Kid always was a hard worker." Teaspoon said before turning to the couple standing beside his chair. "Buck my boy you best not let Kid see you with your arm around his girl." Teaspoon teased.

Buck and Lou both swallowed back the tears before looking at each other communicating who was going to break the news. In the end it was Lou. "Teaspoon Kid died fifteen years ago in the war." Lou said softly kneeling down in front of the man she called her father, her hand on his knee, eyes watching him for distress.

Teaspoon looked out the window again at Jed, "Don't be silly Lou; he's right there working on the bunkhouse."

"No Teaspoon, that's Jed, mine and Kid's son. He just turned 15, I found out I was pregnant with him a month after Kid left to join the war for the south." Lou continued.

Teaspoon looked back at Lou and then back at Jed before turning his eyes once more on the woman kneeling in front of him, "It is? He looks just like the Kid."

"That he does Teaspoon." Lou said with a soft smile.

Teaspoon turned back to the window just as Noah and Isaac raced by chasing after a puppy that had been hiding in the barn. "Who are those two youngin's?"

"That's my sons Noah and Isaac." Lou said softly looking back over at Buck.

"Noah and Isaac, they ain't Kid's right? Nice of you to name them after Noah and Ike, are they coming to visit today too?" Teaspoon prattled on missing the look of sorrow that passed over his old riders eyes.

"No Teaspoon, Isaac and Noah are mine and Buck's children along with little Emma who is in the kitchen with Polly your wife. And Ike and Noah aren't coming to visit today they are both dead. Ike was killed protecting Emily the girl he loved remember? And Noah was killed trying to protect Rosemary Burke, he died in Cody's arms just a few days after I married the Kid." Lou said softly tears filling her eyes at the thought of their long lost family members.

"I remember now, Buck you killed that rat bastard that shot Ike. And then Jimmy ran off with that awful woman. Where is Jimmy? I need to talk some sense into that boy." Teaspoon said turning lucid for a moment only to go back to living in the past.

"Teaspoon Jimmy is dead too. It's just me, Lou, and Cody left of the riders." Buck said quietly from his spot behind his wife.

Teaspoon's head shot up to look at his old Kiowa rider, his eyes begging for Buck to tell him it wasn't true. "What happened?" Teaspoon asked his voice cracking the same way it did every time he asked what had happened to Jimmy. Teaspoon had always thought that Jimmy was the most like him and worried the most about him.

"He was shot in the back while playing poker in a town called Deadwood last year Teaspoon." Lou said softly her hand squeezing Teaspoon's knee.

"Shot in the back? Tell me the cowardly bastard that did it is dead." Teaspoon demanded the steel edge creeping into his voice once more, his eyes flashing with their old fire at the injustice of it all.

"He was tried for Jimmy's murder and found guilty, they hung him." Buck replied with no emotion. This story was always hard for Buck to tell, out of all the riders Buck had always known Jimmy would die young, he however had never expected Jimmy to outlive Ike, Noah, and Kid. It still hurt though that he had lost yet another man he thought of as a brother in such a violent way.

Teaspoon muttered to himself for a few minutes looking out the window again before turning to face Lou and Buck once more. Polly slipped into the sitting room at that moment after lying Emma down for a nap. "Lou did I ever tell you that you were the prettiest bride when you"

"When I married the Kid, yes you told me." Lou interrupted not wanting to relive that memory yet again.

"No, I mean you were but I meant when you married Buck. I think you were even prettier that day than you were when you married the Kid." Teaspoon smiled fondly clearly remembering and not reliving.

"I don't think you did Teaspoon but thank you." Lou said tears filling her eyes once more. This was the Teaspoon she had grown to love all those years ago, this was the man that had become her father, this was the man she missed.

"Buck sit down son your feet have got to be getting tired." Teaspoon ordered good naturedly.

Buck gave his lopsided smirk before settling in a chair across from Teaspoon. "We've got something to tell ya Teaspoon."

"What that be Buck?' Teaspoon asked looking out the window and chuckling at the young boys running around and playing when they were supposed to be working on chores.

"Me and Buck are expecting another little one." Lou stated her hand on her stomach yet again smiling up at Teaspoon.

Teaspoon shot to his feet and shouted, "Hot Damn! Polly get in here woman we got us some celebrating to do!"

Buck slipped outside to call his children in so they could spend some time with Teaspoon while he was lucid. They spent the whole day laughing with the man that they had all missed enjoying maybe one of the last good days he had.

That night after the children had gone Polly found herself once again sitting in the kitchen nursing a cup of coffee crying silently. Lou and Buck had given her a gift today, the gift of spending one more day with the man she loves. She just wished that tomorrow would be another good day because she misses Teaspoon, she misses the man he used to be, she misses his laughter, his gentle touch that only family knew, she misses his sense of loyalty and duty, and she misses the steel in his voice and the fire in his eyes that he get when he thought something was unjust. She just plain ol' misses him.


End file.
